Sunday, 8 November 2009

A charmless man

I'm a 49 year old man stuck in the body of a 16 year old who wishes he was alive in the 60's. People in the supermarket I work at tell me "Enjoy your youth" whenever I make a crack about being too young to sell alcohol. Well no. What's there to enjoy? And so what if I sound like an angsty little so and so.

40 years ago Beatles mania was the phrase 0f the moment, people listened to music on spinning wheels with needles attached and the country was in fear of a nuclear war. But the music was great, the people were happy and Britain was (for the best part) doing pretty damn well.

30 years ago Pink Floyd and Queen were at the top of their game, people still listened to slightly smaller spinning wheels and the country was still a bit worried about a nuclear war. But the music was amazing, the people were happy and Britain wasn't doing half bad.

20 years ago. Wow. What an era to be alive in. Amazing new styles of music, Joy Division - and towards the end - the birth of britpop. Cassettes were brought out and teens and adults alike, sat recording the chart shows so they could listen to the quintessentially amazing chart music. So what if there was dirge in the charts, at least it wasn't rearing it's head anywhere near the top 40. Music: Amazing. People: Happy. Britain: Not bad.

10 years ago. Oooh. Um..ok. So we've got Britpop and Rave and Madchester. Everything else? Crap. Britain falling down a well of awfulness. But technology was booming and the world was evolving faster than ever. The Falklands was a thing of the past and a fresh faced Labour government was shoeing it's way into the big house on the Thames. Music: Mixed bag, mostly good. People: Content. Britain: Not great, but ok.

Present day: You guessed it. Let's look at some of the music we have flowing through the charts:
  • N-Dubz
  • Chipmunk
  • Ironik
  • McFly
  • Saturdays
  • Girls Aloud
  • Cheryl Cole
  • Jonas Brothers
  • JLS
  • Miley Cyrus
What the hell people. Britain is in turmoil. The music is - for lack of a better word - shit. Everyone is unhappy. Our leader looks like a wet sock that's been scrunched up and left behind the tumble dryer for a month and to top it off, everyone's going to die because some polar bear's don't have enough ice.

What has happened to this country?! We've had our downs; Thatcher, and um...well Thatcher. But the 20th century was amazing (well, the latter years). Music revolutionized the world, film did the same. We went from listening to crank radios to sitting in front of a 50" screen watching a film where you can see every sweat bead drip off Jason Statham's head. So what the hell has gone wrong over the past 9 years (almost ten) years?

We can only hope that come 1st January 2010, the world snaps back into normality and Blur decide to properly reform, Freddy Mercury comes back to life, everyone shares in one massive hug and Harry from McFly suddenly forgets how to breathe.

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