Christmas

Well this is nice, 22:27 on Boxing Day.

Christmas is over, the Stollen has been eaten, the JD and Cokes have been drunk, the tree is prepping itself for another year in it's Dyson box. And The Pogues will once again go unplayed for a year.

This has been really nice catching up with family and having a laugh. And also kicking butt at 'Spin & Shout'. 19 points...awesome eh?

This is only a short post because I'm fairly tired but I hope you all have a lovely new year and don't spend too much in the January sales.

And on that note, I need to go shopping.

Peace x

A charmless man

I'm a 49 year old man stuck in the body of a 16 year old who wishes he was alive in the 60's. People in the supermarket I work at tell me "Enjoy your youth" whenever I make a crack about being too young to sell alcohol. Well no. What's there to enjoy? And so what if I sound like an angsty little so and so.

40 years ago Beatles mania was the phrase 0f the moment, people listened to music on spinning wheels with needles attached and the country was in fear of a nuclear war. But the music was great, the people were happy and Britain was (for the best part) doing pretty damn well.

30 years ago Pink Floyd and Queen were at the top of their game, people still listened to slightly smaller spinning wheels and the country was still a bit worried about a nuclear war. But the music was amazing, the people were happy and Britain wasn't doing half bad.

20 years ago. Wow. What an era to be alive in. Amazing new styles of music, Joy Division - and towards the end - the birth of britpop. Cassettes were brought out and teens and adults alike, sat recording the chart shows so they could listen to the quintessentially amazing chart music. So what if there was dirge in the charts, at least it wasn't rearing it's head anywhere near the top 40. Music: Amazing. People: Happy. Britain: Not bad.

10 years ago. Oooh. Um..ok. So we've got Britpop and Rave and Madchester. Everything else? Crap. Britain falling down a well of awfulness. But technology was booming and the world was evolving faster than ever. The Falklands was a thing of the past and a fresh faced Labour government was shoeing it's way into the big house on the Thames. Music: Mixed bag, mostly good. People: Content. Britain: Not great, but ok.

Present day: You guessed it. Let's look at some of the music we have flowing through the charts:

• N-Dubz
• Chipmunk
• Ironik
• McFly
• Saturdays
• Girls Aloud
• Cheryl Cole
• Jonas Brothers
• JLS
• Miley Cyrus

What the hell people. Britain is in turmoil. The music is - for lack of a better word - shit. Everyone is unhappy. Our leader looks like a wet sock that's been scrunched up and left behind the tumble dryer for a month and to top it off, everyone's going to die because some polar bear's don't have enough ice.

What has happened to this country?! We've had our downs; Thatcher, and um...well Thatcher. But the 20th century was amazing (well, the latter years). Music revolutionized the world, film did the same. We went from listening to crank radios to sitting in front of a 50" screen watching a film where you can see every sweat bead drip off Jason Statham's head. So what the hell has gone wrong over the past 9 years (almost ten) years?

We can only hope that come 1st January 2010, the world snaps back into normality and Blur decide to properly reform, Freddy Mercury comes back to life, everyone shares in one massive hug and Harry from McFly suddenly forgets how to breathe.

Past-times

Lookey here! I'm finally writing a post that hasn't got a MySpace link in. I thought I'd talk about pastimes today, not for any particular reason, just because I thought it would be - I don't know - interesting? Well probably not. Because I'm writing it, but hopefully it'll either keep you reading my blog or turn you away. Whatever the case, thanks for the page view. Much appreciated.

I like reading, listening to music and shopping. The last one will make me sound like a ravishing homosexual but you'd be shocked to know that I have a very odd strain of DNA in me that means that I like shopping. I would comment on the other two but everyone likes reading and listening to music...well apart from people who live nor- no I'm not going to make a joke about northerners. But anyway, every teenager who has a MySpace or Bookface will say that they like reading and listening to music. This is a good thing.

First of all it shows that the two truest art forms in life are still popular (although I wouldn't describe the music made by Lady(?) Gaga and McFly to be art forms rather than art farces) in this day and age. And it shows that maybe there is hope for humanity, especially with pastimes like car-maintenance and stabbing becoming popular.

Now I think about it, is shopping a pastime? Well yes. It's something you do for enjoyment. Sorry I'm heading away from the topic faster than [insert comical simile here].

What saddens me though is that people are ridiculed for reading. And people are called 'geeks' for saying they liked reading a book. As an example, I was in school reading Sun Tzu's Art Of War on my laptop, when someone walks past, laughs, and says "Wow. That is the single most boring thing I have ever seen". To which I simply told the person where to stick it and returned to my reading.

Why is it that people who wish to further their knowledge of 'stuff' are ridiculed while those who stand in murky streets selling drugs to children and stabbing people are hailed by their friends. Gaining credibility for wrong-doing.

Well done Britain. This is what we've been reduced to. The greatest empire in the world to a culture of drugs and violence. It's like renaissance Italy, only without a New World Order threatening power.

Oh wait.

Peace x

Once again, sorry!

I'm sorry readers. Even though I haven't posted it's gone from 800 to 850 so thank you all. I am in the process of writing something big but here's another great new artist that I'm sure you'll love!

http://www.myspace.com/austynbrownmusic

Peace x

I promise I'll do something lengthy soon!

Hello readers old and new.

I'm really busy sorting music stuff out right now, keep finding rough edges in recordings that just won't iron out. So in the meantime I bring to you some new music from an artist who brings shivers down your spines and warmth in your hearts.

Please listen, please check out his MySpace.

http://www.charliehole.com/

Peace x

In This Light and on This Evening

Up until September, music was awful. With the radio's clogged with crappy girl bands and crappy boy bands, I was at the end of my teather. So much so that I started listening to Joy Division and doing that epilepsy dance that Ian Curtis did. Then suddenly, on October 1st, music had a spurt. It's like that moment where you wake up to find you've grown a few inches...in height.

So here we have a prime example of a fantastic new album from the brilliant Editors. So without going through their history and using a theasuarus to impress you readers, I thought I'd just be blunt:

Every song on there is a hit.
Buy it.
Love it.

8/10

Change?

Towards the end of last year, millions of Americans waddled into their polling booths (I get one stereotype comment per blog, that was it) and scribbled a tick next to the name of their saviour, Barack Obama. The buzzword of 2009 has been 'CHANGE' and that was what Barack promised. "All troops serving in Iraq would be removed and the economy would be fixed by the end of 2009" he said (sorta).

Well it's been a year and we are the end(ish) of 2009. So has Barack followed through on his promise of change? Is Iraq now a prosperous MEDC? Is America finally out of their economic lapse?

No.

Well if he hasn't followed up those promises then he MUST have done something to earn that Nobel Peace Prize, the prize that's gone to amazing people like: Ghandi, Mother Theresa, etc?

No.

Hmmm. Well he's followed through on his idea of 'Change!' hasn't he?

Yep.

Well there we go!

Nope. Barack has definitely changed America, he's changed the world as well. But I wouldn't say it's been for the better. Homelessness and unemployment quotas throughout America have risen and the recession is still in full swing. All Obama's done is throw money at the banks and expect miracles to happen. Well a miracle didn't happen, and unless he brings in a new agenda then the price of your Spaghetti Hoops will stay at £1.30 for the next few years.

So Iraq. He must have pulled some troops out?

Well yeah, he did. He pulled quite a few out in fact. But then he put a lot more in their place. It's like 'Nam all over again. America have gone into Iraq thinking they can stomp all over their land and steal their oil only to find that - oh - there's a few people who don't like that. And now we're fighting a war with more and more people dying every day for no reason. Hmm.

I agree that it's very inspirational what Barack has done and that children across america should see that it doesn't matter what colour you are or where you're from, everyone's equal. But I don't think he deserves a Nobel PEACE Prize.

Now a question for YOU. The reader. You've seen my opinion. What's yours?
Contact me on Twitter. @Steveturner93

Cheers, Steve.

Have you got the music in you?

About a year ago I found a nice piece of software called ‘Virtual DJ’. At first I was clueless. There were a lot of shiny knobs and some things that made a creaking noise when I put my curser over them. Quickly, I figured out how to make Stevie Wonder sound like he’s just sucked on a helium balloon, while making Matt Bellamy sound like someone’s jammed a stale pork pie down his throat. Then I made things faster, slower and heavier.

Then the first track came out. It was simple and rough. A weird take on Life in Technicolor ii by Coldplay. I mixed it with some in-built samples and recorded it; all of this was done within 2 hours. It sounded bad, but it was something that I had made. I listened to it twice and made something new. A mix of No Time For Tears by The Enemy. It sounded better and louder. I was hooked.

Then came the album. It was sketchy but people liked it. I made fifteen copies and they all went within one week. No more have been made and no more ever will. So 5 months later I’m working on the difficult second album and have been testing a new piece of software.

The pieces of software I use are very difficult to use, unattractive and clunky. But I have to use it because it’s my only option. Mac users have the great Garage Band and Linux has...well...Linux doesn’t have ANYTHING in general, so that’s out of the question. But
Microsoft has just released SongSmith. And I’ve been having a go.
Obviously this is not a £600 piece of software; in fact you get everything you need to create a simple song in demo mode. The interface is attractive and it’s very easy to use. The playback is smooth and – although rough around the edges – sounds professional.

In fact, there’s only one thing stopping this programme being as good as GarageBand. This is not mixing software, it’s not even creating music. All this programme allows you to do is sing over a backing track. There’s ways of adding your own riffs and drums I think but they don’t sound very good on the videos and samples I’ve seen.

Don’t get me wrong, this could be used well in a school environment. Probably not in the upper-regions of secondary schools but from ages 5 to 14, this could be a great part of music lessons, teaching students how to use: Tempo, bass, beats, layering techniques and quality finishing. I wouldn’t suggest this for higher-secondary use because it would have no gain to GCSE/A-Level music. There’s a lack of versatility and serious lack of ‘stuff’ to use.

So to all the teachers and parents with young children, go for it. Let the young ones use it, catapult them into mini-stardom. But to all you teenagers and secondary-education teachers, don’t bother in the upper school, give it to the kids and move them up to programmes like “Virtual DJ”.

Ease of use: 9/10 Actual music making capabilities: 2/10
Aesthetics: 8/10

Free Software

Hi again readers. It's been a while since I've written a serious post that doesn't include: A) A review or B) Tom Hanks so expect several grammatical errors. Also, sorry for the massive photo, Blogger didn't want to let me resize it. So yes, free software.

I've just got a new laptop as a well done for my exams. It's one of the new Inspiron 15's in red with a T4200 dual core upgrade and 3gb RAM, it's got a 250gb hard drive and runs games/internet/movies as smoothly as one of those Alienware Area 52's or one of those Rock laptops. But there's one thing that's really bothered me about this laptop, and with my previous laptop. Not something internal, but more to do with the man in the picture and his company...and Dell I suppose.

Software. I've been given Roxio, a lame excuse for "music recording software" and I was given the dreadful McAfee anti-virus. They chucked in Solitare and Purble Place, they were kind enough to give me some webcam software too. There's some music-enhancing stuff that's possibly even more useless than the chocolate teapot. And then there's the Microsoft Office 2007......demo.

Yes readers. After having £400 spent on this beauty of a machine, I haven't even been given a proper copy of Microsoft Word. I understand this isn't entirely Microsoft's fault, seeing as it is a Dell and that they're selling it. But for goodness sake, £219 for the basic Microsoft Office? It's no wonder people have turned to illegal downloads when we're being robbed in broad daylight. After 60 day's it all goes away and I'm left with...well...Microsoft Works. And who the hell still uses Microsof Works?

Fortunately I know someone who has access to these programmes and gave me the key to unlock a copy of Microsoft Office Ultimate. But think about the student in Claenwyd Uni who doesn't have access to this sort of stuff and is stuck with Notepad and Microsoft Works. I think that if you're spending £350+ on a laptop, you should at least expect Microsoft Word. I don't care about excel, or OneNote, and who the hell uses PowerPoint any more? I just want Word. So I propose that when you purchase a laptop you should get that sotware for free, and not pay £200+ for it.

All you have to do is stick a CD in the tray and press enter a few times. Is that really too hard Mr. Gates. Your friend Mr. Jobs seems to be able to do it.

-Steve

Stellified

Well it's been a long time but I'm back and have found some time to say hello. I thought I'd come back and review some stuff I've been listening to over my holidays. So the next 3 posts will be reviews. Hopefully it might make you buy some of the tracks, or at least youtube them, becuase if it's got my seal of approval, you KNOW it might be reasonable.

Ian Brown disgraced himself in 199something when he went on stage at Reading and sang like a drunken, doped upm mancunian...oh wait. Sadly that is how he has been remembered. Also for doing something on a plane. But he has also been known for being quite a talented chap. He, Mani, Remi and the other one released a few great albums, a compiation and one I didn't like. Then Brown went on to make some solo stuff that was deemed by the holier-than-thou NME writers as "ok".

Then Brown makes a new song. Stellify. And what a song. A song to rival F.E.A.R in my opinion. But no-one listens to it becuase it doesn't get airplay. Whereas that awful new Sugarbabes song does.

So the debut Stone Roses album. The iconic madchester album for me. With some of the greatest tracks of the 20th century involved (Fools Gold, I Am the Ressurection and Sally Cinnamon). NME like it, creepy indie weirdos like it and even my dad likes it. So it's music for the people. I still find it difficult to find one bad song on there. Of course there are one or two low points but not low points like on that crappy AC/DC album, in which the songs went up and down like Wall Street in the 20's (My history teacher would be proud!).

Hopefully you've heard of Fool's Gold and if you have then you'll also agree that it's a whip-crackingly, fist-raisingly, stunningly good song. 9 minutes of fautless music, chopped down for radio. Sally Cinnamon and I Wanna Be Adored tell stories that could make entire albums themselves. I Am The Ressurection is a self-proclaimed ballad of the late 80's/early 90's and She Bang's The Drum will have your foot tapping in no time.

Seems to me that kids these days (I am getting old) are hearing of old bands and buying "Best Of"'s. Now that's really good because it gets kids listening to the old school stuff. But it also ruins it for them. Me and my mother (who - I recently found - has quite good taste in music) decided that the problem with the compilation is you don't get the hidden treasures. That's why buying the self-titled original Roses album is a much better idea than getting the compilation.

So what of Brown's solo stuff? Some of it is good (Music of the Sphere's and the new un-named album) but some is also bloody awful (everything else). He goes through phases Brown does. Momentary genius followed by subdued and underlying awfulness. The first time I watched the anthemic F.E.A.R was in my living room on MTV. I fell in love with the song. The way he makes every lyric follow the acronym, but still retain the meaning is genius. Then I remember that the next single was an atrocious conglomeration of him complaining and looking like a meth addict after a 5 week binge. I couldn't tell you what it was or what happened in the video because I switched it over to Hey Arnold.

But sitting on my sickly green sofa eating toast and watching Brown cycle backwards through Soho made my youth just as much as Bittersweet Symphony did. Perhaps I'm too obsessed with Britpop/Madchester. But I see a revival very soon. Viva la Revolution people!

Stone Roses 9.5/10
The Complete Stone Roses 8.5/10
Music of the Spheres 9/10
Stellify 8/10

Peace x

Viðrar vel til loftárása

Just a small post to say that I'm off to France for 3 weeks! I probably won't bother blogging about whatever it is I'm doing but if you really are the sort of person who has an interest in what I'm doing. Then follow me on Twitter. I go by the username of: Steveturner93.

That's all really. Don't read too much into the photo/title. Just Tom Hanks and a phrase I learnt in Icelandic. "Perfect weather for an airstrime".

How amusing.

Bon été!

Something for the weekend

Well the weather this week has reflected the state of our government. Bloody awful. But do not fret readers! I may have found something which will make your weekend make up for all this rain and loud thunderous...thunder.

And it does not come in the form of several poorly written paragraphs by yours truly. It comes in the form of an album from a band that you probably won't have heard of. But as the music of the current day is so awful that it's causing me to turn to blues from the 70's and sit moodily in the middle of town nodding along and looking like someone who belongs in a lunatic asylum. It's these bands/artists that are shining at the moment.

As I just said, I'm currently into blues and as I didn't say, I also dig the folk scene. But you can't live on folk. That would be like living off of vanilla ice cream. You keep looking at the chocolate and strawberry sitting next to it, but you don't want to go there becuase it looks a bit unsafe and too red/brown for your liking. So you need balance, maybe a little bit of synth or emo.

Unfortunately emo/screamo/loudnoisescomingfrompubescentteenagerswithlongblackhair is awful and anyone who says different deserves to get their heads kicked in by the reanimated corpse of Marlon Brando. So that leaves you with synth. Or techno, electronic, indie...you get the point. But because we are currently under siege from bands like the Kooks and MGMT plagueing the indie and electronic scene, I like to sit comfortably in synth.

So what do you get when you throw some folk/blues into a puddle of synths? You get Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. A solo project from a chap in America. Imagine Fleet Foxes meets Deadmau5 and you're not far off. This chap uses casios from the 90's and synth boards from the 80's. This dude is old skool. He's gutsy as well. He thought he'd team up with Concern and slam some beats onto Born in the USA and Streets of Philadelphia. I'm still not sure on Born in the USA but my god, that man has done wonders to Streets of Philadelphia. Weirdly, I prefer it from the original. Sorry Bruce.

Everything else is pretty golden. White Corolla is my favorite track. With lyrics that a tripped out LSD junkie would be confused by. Bouncy melody and inventive use of the voicebox. Perhaps it's too short at 1 minute 57 seconds. But when you've got creepy indie artists releasing 20 second songs where they strum a guitar twice and then tell you that their shoes are covered in sand (thanks for that Interpol), you look at that and don't care. If CTftPA can do in 1:57 what Jamiroquai can't do in 5, then you won't complain there either.

I think they're on iTunes, and pretty sure that you amish folk can go to HMV and still buy it as well. Or if you don't want to pay this man the amount he deserves for this great music, then you can probably download it. Though please don't.

Have a good weekend.

Peace.

Internet access in schools

A few months back, my father attempted to buy tickets for a festival from his computer at work. But becuase of the filtering system, he was unable to access the website as there was something to do with credit cards on it. Whats funny is that becuase of this, my mother (a teacher at my local school) had to buy the tickets instead. Now, would you expect a school to really allow people to buy things on their IP? Well no they don't. But they do have proxy servers.

Every kid in my school knows the proxy. Hell, I bet the new year 7's know. But whatever, the point I'm trying to make is that the filters became useless as I and my fellow pupils were quickly able to access whatever the hell we wanted. The fact I had my laptop in school meant that I was able to browse NME or download something off of PirateBay while I coloured in a map of Venezuela in Geography (I joke of course, Geography is not just colouring in. It's an enjoyable subject which has had me pointing out annoying facts about destructive waves whenever I go down to Hengistbury Head. Cheers Mrs. B)

So if everyone knows how to access everything, why is there a need for a proxy? Because I'm sure most of the teachers get annoyed when they have to type their code in every morning. I know I got bored of switching between Opera (yes, don't laugh) and Mozilla (once again) then going home to use IE. Still, I think there is a need for a filtering system in school.

ECDL and Computer design lessons would be disrupted by students playing games or doing whatever else year 8s do these days. Then there is the unavoidable thing in that no-one wants to see a kid looking at pornography in a lesson or at a breaktime. It would make school like a second home, but with several hundred more people and some older people wearing suits and yelling at you.

But there are drawbacks to filters.

I had to do some technology coursework recently. I decided to cop out and do the food technology course, in which we had to design a product to a specification and create a factfile. While doing this, I wanted to get a picture of some pancetta bacon. Apparently the SWGFL are under the assumption that an image of pancetta bacon could; "contain crude language and indecent imagery". Oh ok, a little bit counter-productive perhaps but I won't complain, I'll just use normal bacon. Oh wait, that's filtered too.

Once again, while doing Geography coursework, I was trying to find an image of a random house in Sandbanks. But apparently that contains indecent imagery and crude language as well. I know how a filter works, if it has any swearing on any page then it's filtered. Which is fair becuase you shouldn't subject small children to seeing such awful words. But if I want a picture of a packet of bacon then I'm not planning to click on every link, go to every page and scour the internetz itself in a quest to find a curse word.

Well I pose the question, do you think (some) filters should be lifted? Obviously not to the crazy excess where games and pornographic images are unfiltered, but where things like newspapers and blogs (mine for example) are filtered because a few words are thrown around.

Cheers for reading.

-Steve

Music in schools.

Ask any of my teachers to read my handwriting and I assure you that they will fall to pieces in front of you. This is becuase I have the handwriting of an arthritic 80 year old man (probably). And because of that - I get to bring my infamously slow laptop into school. Well I did when I was in school anyway. I also used a word processor in most of my exams.

It was a very good idea. I would do the work, then go home and print my work off, then put it in a folder. At first I did this and all was well. But as time progressed, I began to do the work then not bother printing it. Then I found a great loophole in the 'school rules'. By being quite sneaky, I was able to listen to music in about 50% of my lessons. I would listen to what I had to do, then as soon as the task was set, I would be fishing a cable up my arm and sneaking my inconspicuous ear bad over and in to my ear.

And then I started doing more work in those lessons. As long as I was listening to music, I was focused and I was working. But the second the headphones were gone, I was zoned out and couldn't be bothered to do anything. Seriously. I think that if I hadn't listened to music in my tech lessons, I would have sat in the exam like a vegetable, pondering over what a potato was.

I did have to be careful though. In French, History, English and Law I didn't even bother trying. My French teacher was dead against it, my History teacher was always talking and if you weren't careful he would easily catch you out and make you look like a prize fool. For even having your earphones out in English you would be hung, drawn and quartered by the stalinist English teachers. And I could have in Law, but I actually needed to listen seeing as I am absolutely terrible at it.

But in Tech, Geography, Science and the rest I was able to sit quite casually and listen to my music. I even became so relaxed in Tech that I brought my massive Sennheiser DJ headphones in one week and she didn't care.

So I pose the question. Should music be allowed in school? I say yes. But I reckon that every teacher out there is saying; "No way! Disadbantaged kids might get jealous of expensive iPods and things might get lost or stolen." Well to give a blunt response: Bullsh*t. I and many other pupils have carried MP3's, phones and whatever around school now for 5 years and never has there been the threat of things being stolen. Why? Because EVERYONE has a phone or MP3. Even the poorest kid can buy a phone for £10 and an MP3 for a fiver.

Music has been proven to inmprove focus. Folk music calms you, metal gives you a rush (as does D&B), pop gives you a feel-good factor and R&B provides poetic lyrics. I spent the majority of last year listening to folk and acoustic music and I think my work was better in that year than the year before.

I can see problems though. Everyone has a different taste of music. I live for folk and acoustic. I know lots of people who would rather eat a lamppost than listen to folk. A friend of mine thinks Radiohead are a dreary, depressing group of wrist-slitters. But I think they're the best thing that happened to the 90's (well, apart from Blur, Oasis and The Verve...oh and Stone Roses). This could cause tensions I suppose. But who cares? No two people like the same music (apart from those stupid 13 year olds who write "I like a bit of everything" on their Facebooks. No you don't like everything. You're probably the sort of person that thinks James Morrison qualifies as acoustic. Stupid person!) and that is something that you have to live with.

If/when I become a teacher. I will actively encourage kids to bring music in. And to those who don't like music? Well you're odd and can sit in the corner.

Viva la Musica!

Grammar

Quick gripe.

Just need to know why some people type in these following ways:

-wthowt usng th prpr srt ov wrds nd nt mkng mch sns n da prcss.
-By Putting Capital Letters At The Start Of Every Word.
-Repeatingggg theeeee lasttttt letterrrr offfff everyyyyyy wordddddd.
-writing large amounts of text that span several pages that need to have punctuation but never seem to not even commas colons hashes or full stops then they dont have any paragraphs or capital letters anyway

Email/tweet me explaining why, I can't seem to get my head around it.

Much love, Steve

I can't take it anymore!!

For the best part of the last 3 months, there have been numerous arguments on Twitter between myself and a few people from my school. This argument has been about the infamous boyband McFly. I woke up this morning to see several tweets about the band and after throwing a few insluts about McFly, I thought about actually writing my exact thoughts of the boyband that are plagueing this country and it's charts.

I'll start by saying that I think these 4 lads are actually quite talented. One of their songs - Lies - is probably in my top 100 favourite songs. I think it's great that they play their own instruments and write their own words. Even if these instruments sound like they've been bought on the cheap at Argos and the vocal talent leaves much to be desired.

They also have a good stage presence. Watching them at the Isle of White festival, they really electrified the crowd. Even if they made a lackluster performance and the song composition changed from cheesy pop to soft rock. In other live performances, they seem to make the crowd ecstatic and bring girls to tears with their looks.

In fact, I think that the only problem with McFly is that they aren't real music. They are a manufactured pop band that sit on the same seat as Busted and Girls Aloud. People can like them all they want but the real musical afficionados who appreciate well written lyrics and strong beats will always have a hatred for them.

After writing this, I'm actually persuading myself that they're quite reasonable. I keep comparing them to other popular acts like Oasis and Blur but they're not anything like Oasis and Blur. Those bands were popular because they made revolutionarily good music that fitted the times. It just seems that McFly are doing the same thing. They're making manufactured pop music on Argos guitars and drums that put people in a good mood. And unfortunately, thats what teenagers and kids are into these days.

It has to be said that McFly are alot better than these Disney 'musicians' who spout out crappy albums every other hour (Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus are good examples). McFly went from a group of four boys supporting Busted to a band that outlived Busted themselves and are probably just as good. Actually no, Busted are better, solely because Charlie is an absolute legend and Fightstar are awesome.

So Twitter people who keep arguing over McFly. This is my statement. McFly are ok. They are not good, but they have really worked hard to get where they are. They're music is obvious pop-orientated so they shouldn't be compared to Radiohead or Kings of Leon. They should be compared to bands like Jonas Brothers and soloists like Sam Beeton. And if you look at it that way, McFly are acutally quite a good group. I'd much rather listen to Lies than anything 'written' by Miley Cyrus.

Still, their cover of Don't Stop Me Now was the second worst thing to ever happen to music. The first being the birth of Alexandra Burke.

Hope that settles it!

-Steve

Not another review

I used to hate everything about metal music. Loud, shouty and repetitive. Then I found Pearl Jam. Admittedly they aren't metal, they're more soft-rock if I'm honest. But if you look at some of their early stuff, they successfully combine soft-rock with metal. And I think this comes up on their best album, Ten.

Even Flow and Black are easily the best songs. I'd go as far to say that Black is in my Top 50 awesome songs. It'd probably sit around the low 20's. Even Flow is the defining track on the album though. It puts the sounds of shrill guitars and ballad-like vocals together seamlessly, much better than any DJ could but two songs together.

The album dips towards the end with Last Kiss. Sounds very reminiscent of Bret Michaels. It's a good song, just sits uncomfortably in the album. Imagine a goth at a 50 Cent concert. Now put Last Kiss in place of the goth and the album in place of 50 Cent.

But apart from that slightly 'bleh' moment, I'd easily give this album a: 8/10

For some odd reason, I've become obsessed with Journey. I don't know why but I seem to be listening to their music all the time. I'm now trying to find a way to follow each member of the band on Twitter so I can stalk them like some other people do. Although I'd be stalking a decent band and not a band with two good songs. Yes...anyway.

Journey. They grew up as city boys, and they were born and raised in South Detroit. Then one night they decided to pack up and take a midnight train that happened to be going to a small town called "Anywhere". There, they met a small town girl, who was - at the time - living in a lonely world. Oddly enough, she had arrived at the town of "Anywhere" via this train which departed at midnight.

This group of 5 young city slickers realised then, that they had the Eye of the Tiger and that they would become famous in any way they wanted. Because after all, that's the way they needed it.

Time to stop using lyrics and actually review the album.

It's good. Very good. Not as good as Ten, but still very good and very catchy. I would like to hope that at least half of you (so near enough 400) will now be clicking on to youtube to listen to one of their songs but I know you probably aren't.

So yes, good album in which all of the songs are good. But it's good and it's not great, so it can only get 6/10. Also, the album art is awful.



Blur and Oasis are my two most favouritest bands ever. I can't fault any one of their songs, and that's honest. I'm normally very critical and if an 'indie' band go mainstream I virutally explode and yell about how the mainstream ruins bands. This is why I listen to folk and techno, becuase they're both so awful as genres that they can't be mainstream.

Parklife is the best album done by Blur - or at least the best non-compilation album. It's title track is their best but Girls and Boys doesn't sit too far behind it. Badhead and Clover Over Dover should have been released as singles over This Is a Low and To The End but I think that the fact they weren't singles increases exclusivity and shows that the people with real love for the band will listen and enjoy that track.

The title track, Parklife, is my favourite Blur track, mainly because Phil Daniels executes the vocals in such a fantastic way: "I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the Sparra's too. It gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing." And the lyrics are just genius. "I get up at eight, except on Wednesday's when I get rudely awaken by the dustman." The video is downright genius with a young looking Albarn acting as a work-experience victim.

Alex James is mediocre while Rowntree and Coxon exceed, creating a very strong atmosphere of brit-pop guitars. This album, and this song, really exceed expectations. And although Midlife is what I'd suggest for new-comers to Blur, I would say that this is the quintessential Blur album.

Easily a 9/10.

-Steve

Heirachy

Now to consider the heirachy of Britain in a wider aspect.

That café in the photo sits nicely in the middle of my hometown, Bournemouth. Recently, while in town, I sat on a small ledge just to the left of where this photo was taken. With a coffee in my hand, I watched the world go buy from the cover of my heavily-tinted glasses. In that short space of time in which I was waiting to meet up with some people, I saw a lot of things.

The first thing was (as I said previously) a man in a fairly nice suit, the trousers were quite short and showed a pair of white socks though, how tacky. He looked quite distressed, with his left hand covering his face and his right holding a fairly scratched iPhone. He had a cup of coffee in front of him and a copy of The Sun (or The Star). As he put the phone down and walked away, you could see he was annoyed about something. Perhaps it was the way he marched off or the fact he had just realised that he had lost something. He did that thing people do when they're confused, sort of flap about and check every pocket two or three times, even though they know it's not there.





Then as he marched off, the charity worker came into view. He seemed like a fairly nice chap, unshaven and wearing a vest promoting some sort of animal welfare charity. A smile seemed to be stuck on his face and it seemed every time my eye was cast on him, he was always saying pleasentries to another shopper and wishing them a 'good day'. The businessman marched through him and shot a glare at the chap who had just wished him 'good day'. This sort of thing can really make a person sad. Not sad like when you see a puppy with a missing leg. But sad in such a way that you are saddened by the way it reflects us. (Pardon my awful sentencing there).

Heirachy. It's a very interesting term. I think it's basically showing the class system in a pyramid form. The working class is at the bottom, with the largest amount of people. The middle classes sit in the middle, with an average amount. And the upper classes sit just above the middle, right at the top, with a much lesser number. Perhaps it's good to have a heirachy that puts people 'in their rightful place'. Or perhaps it isn't. Perhaps it's a bad thing that splits people and makes people feel ashamed for talking to people below them in the pyramid.

Considering my recent change of heart, I now think that classes should be abolished. Why should people think they're above others because they've got more money? Here's a quote from my mother: "Does the fact that Wayne Rooney is rich mean that he is also upper class?" No it doesn't. If we are going to have a class system, then it should be based around something else.

Heirachy. It's a very interesting term. All it does is boost and break people's egos.

Hopefully this poster will give a better representation of the problems with class and heirachy:

-Steve

Youth Culture

Well I said I'd give my views on our current government in my last post but I had a change of heart and wanted to talk about me and my peers instead.

I've recently been talking to a 'friend' of mine who I 'met' a few months back on a game called World Of Warcraft. He's about 30 and no, he is not what you are thinking, be mature. He said that the problem with kids today is that the parents have no control. I don't agree, though I found it interesting.

A look around my largest nearby 'city' (Bournemouth) presents the eye with a very interesting array of people. The Big Issue seller, the Buisnessman, the Teenager. The Buisnessman sits on his own, gazing into a cup of off-brown coffee, talking on their iPhone to another Businessman sitting on his own, gazing into his cup of off-brown coffee. It's quite a sad and mundane life if you think about it.

The Teenager(s) sit, regimented, in their baggy uniforms, jeering at other teenagers who aren't like them. Teenagers have a sub-culture where they feel that they're cooler and will earn more respect if they take the mickey out of someone who is an 'emo' or a 'goth' or whatever the hell else there is these days. This is also a sad life but it's also a very sad thing for someone else to see.

The Big Issue seller should be having an awful life. They're (probably) quite poor and in need of some sort of help. They might have family issues or they might just have a personal issue to do with some sort of substance, that's not for me to say. But they're happy. They always sound cheery and always wish people a 'nice day'. So why is the Big Issue man happier than the teenager or the businessman? Because we have developed a heirachy.

I'll look at the entire heirachy next time (maybe I'll keep to that), and today I'll look at the teenage heirachy.

There's a lot of pressure being a teenager. You have to wear the newest clothes and have the best hair and the most money. Then you have to be part of the big clique and have all the cool people as your friends. But then there's another extreme. Some teenagers wear the cheapest clothes and have the scruffiest hair and have the least money. These teens are part of the 'chavvy' group and think that to be cool, you have to have respect. And you gain respect by being 'hard' and stealing things and whatever. How sad.

So the heirachy isn't in a triangular shape. It's sort of like a weird semi-circle with a hole in the middle. The people at the bottom are (unfortunately) seen as the 'geeks' who play too many computer games and don't have many friends. The weird thing is that these 'geeks' can actually be very intelligent and might just be quite shy. But becuase they don't have the most money, or don't have the best hair, they get shunned and people from the trendy clique look down on them and people from the 'chavvy' clique take the mickey out of them.

What a sad thing to see in the 21st century. I sometimes wonder where I fit in. But I don't think I fit in anywhere on there. I'm just sort of...not like that. I'm not one of the uber-popular kids, I don't regard myself as a 'geek' and I'm not even slightly 'chavvy'. Is this a good thing? Is it good to be outside the mainstream? Why do I keep writing rhetorical questions? That's your decision. I like being the sort of person I am. I don't sit in Bournemouth and take the mickey out of other people. I don't look down on the 'geeks'. I don't even have a problem with 'chavs'. Maybe it would be better if we just stopped with all this grouping and just were who we wanted to be.

Maybe in 10 years time everyone will get along and there won't be any more knife-violence. People might not be grouped by how much money they have or what clothes they wear. But from what I'm seeing now. There's more chance of Ahmadinejad admitting that the election was rigged than that happening.

Peace out readers. (How ironic is that photo?)

-Steve

MMR

For some completely unknown and obscure reason, I have suddenly lost all interest in the idea of being a smarmy right-wing teenager and have decided to become a smarmy left-wing teenager In fact, an extreme left-wing teenager. I used to have mad love for the Conservative party and would defend them to my death. But suddenly I've become a supporter of the most left-wing party in Britain.

What does this have to do with MMR? Not much now, but it will. Why do I always start paragraph two with a rhetorical question? For effect. Anyay, MMR. The 'one size fits all' vaccine that is given to children at birth so as to stop them getting measels, mumps or rubella. Good job world, you've made giving vaccines a lot easier, you all deserve medals saying positive messages.

Well no you fecking don't!!

I was born amidst a 'crisis' in Britain. Several children (whose mothers were over 35 at their birth) had become autistic after getting the MMR. I was imeddiately pulled out and wasn't vaccinated. Then the next time the same happened and I was pulled out again. So I never received the injection because I fell into this category. I also showed early signs of autism and getting the MMR was not a good plan.

Today I went to "The North" and had a nice woman stick a needle in me. Then I was told I could go. "Hold on a second" says anyone reading this with an IQ over 12 - "why didn't you have it done nearer?" Well because of the NHS and our government. That's why people. Because they don't want people having seperate injections: Me and the family had to drive about 150 miles to the north and then pay £100 to have a very kind woman stick a needle full of disease into my arm. Then I just left.

Thanks to the nice people at 10 Downing Street, I can't get the measles jab in my area. They think that it is coincidental that children who are born when their mothers are over 35 seem to get autism in higher numbers than children who are born when their mothers were under 35. Because of this, they've sent all incoming mumps vaccines to the NHS to put into MMR jabs instead of the single vaccine.

Governments lie. It's a simple fact of life. The people who we elect and trust to lead our country lie and cheat, using our tax mon- wait, I'll save that one for next time.

In short. I'm a socialist who is pissed off at our free healthcare system. Hypocrisy is a beautiful thing.

-Steve

Tea

Several hundred years ago, some chinese people thought that adding water from their hot springs onto some leaves would be a good plan. It wasn't and they all became horribly addicted to a very dangerous strand of opium that is about 20 times more powerful than the strongest form of heroin. But that didn't stop them! They tried warmer water and new leaves. Eventually, they found the modern day "Afternoon Tea" and grew more. This pleased people worldwide and suddenly China became a prosperous tea-producing country.

Then Britain put a big flag in the ground and stole all the tea and sold it for stupid prices to a city called Boston in the USA. They tried to sell it for stupid money and the Boston folk got (for use of a better word) pissed off. So they rebeled and stole the tea. This apparently revolutionized America and led to the independance of the US of A. Good for them, but Britain still sold and stole tea. Selling it for extortionate amounts to countries around the world. And this trend hasn't changed.

But now the noble Chinese are fighting back. And no, not as ninjas.

Green tea! What a fantastic idea. A back to basics tea that needs no milk or sugar or little single-serving packet of British Airways creamer. This is literally just some leaves and some hot water. It tastes good too. Though to be fair it doesn't taste of anything, it's just nice I s'pose. And green tea has changed everything to do with hot beverages.

It used to be coffee vs tea. Simple enough. Personally I prefer coffee to tea. A nice steaming cup of peruvian coffe is much more attractive to me than a plastic cup of luke-warm milky horse piss. And also, what the hell is up with creamer? It's just not right. You shouldn't be able to make your tea go milky by adding some sort of alien crystallized stuff to your concoction of murky water.

Back to the point. It would seem that green tea is a big player in the hot drinks industry now. In fact, imagine green tea as the Snoop Dogg of the hot drinks industry. It's not in your face and popular like 50p (coffee) and M&M's (Tea). It just sits back and will suddenly jump out in a moment of what can only be called: "pure freakin' awesomeness".

The other good thing about green tea is the flavours. I f***ing hate Lapsang Suschong. And I can't stand camomile or lemon tea. But green tea with peach is bloody beautiful. Mint green tea isn't great though, tastes like really weird chewing gum. And not good weird like Lee Evans. Bad weird like a 40 year old who still lives at home and plays computer games 25 hours a day.

So yes. Try a mug of green tea today. Or tomorrow, because it's almost midnight now and it might look odd you going downstairs or to the local co-op to buy/brew some tea. Word of advice though, let it brew for like....10 minutes. Otherwise it tastes like slightly watered down apple juice. And that may sound nice but it really isn't. In fact, it's like warm milk that's almost about to go mouldy but is actually still ok and you won't get ill if you drink it. But you think that if you do drink it then you might get ill. And when you tip it away you feel guilty for all the hard work the cow did.

Night night readers.

-Steve

European Elections

I'm suddenly very annoyed. Actually, bugger that. I'm downright disgusted!

We as a country have gone slowly downhill recently. I always thought that the racism situation in the UK was improving to the point where racial tensions had almost disappeared. But it seems not.

I have been following the news about the elections recently and was under the assumption on two points: 1) Labour have a problem, 2) Our PM might be gone by next week. Now I'm not a Labour supporter. I actually think that the SWP have the best ideas and would be the best party to get us out of the current recession. Odd isn't it. I'm a capitalist, consumerist middle-class teenager who thinks that the socialists have the best ideas. Oh well aren't I a bit radical.

Anyway. I've just been flicking through the Guardian's breaking news section and something has just ruined my day. I don't even think my law exam in the morning could ruin today any more. In fact, even if I got my foot run over by a car as I crossed the road, I still think that would be better than this news.

The BNP have a seat in Parliament. What a freakin' joke. Obviously I've just spouted a load of swear words and opinions with a smattering of distaste over Twitter/Facebook and have recieved an odd message telling me to stop cussing from an automated response thing. But he can go to hell because it was said for good reason!

Why is it that in modern society - a society built around morales and values - we have a racist and atrociously simple-minded party sitting in our government? I'd rather see Jeremy Kyle sitting on the bench than this chap. I think I'd rather have Jeremy Kyle sit a term as PM than have the BNP anywhere in our government.

And the same applies to UKIP as well. Why should we stop immigrants entering the country? Why should we move away from the EU?

1) Without the influx of immigrants from Eastern Europe, Asia and Africa. We would have a problem with jobs on our hands. Polish plumbers, builders, denists, doctors. These are people who are trained to do these jobs (well most anyway) doing the jobs we don't want to do. And then when we do want those jobs, we get arsey because the Poles got there before us. Well good on the Polish to be honest. Same applies to other Eastern-Europeans and whatever.
2) The EU supplies us with valuable trade routes that help our economies and provide fundature for Britain. Moreover, if we had never joined the EU; we would have to seriously bolster our port customs so as to make up for the jobs which the border patrols in other countries do for us. And anyway, who really minds if we have a few people from the A8 coming to work in Britain? It means they spend more (although some do just send money home and live on the bare minimum).

As I said on Twitter just moments ago: What the f#@& is wrong with society these days?!

-Steve

No. Britain has not got talent.

I hate reality TV. There is something really awful about watching people make utter pricks of themselves. Last year we had Alexandra Burke destroy a Jeff Buckley classic and then disappear from the face of the Earth. Then we had celebrity(?) Big Brother in which some z-list stripper porbably won. And now we have normal Big Brother. The cesspit of entertainment.

But the awfulness of all those shows is dwarfed by this one. Britain's Got Talent. I think I've found the best way to define this show: "It's a bit like an orgasm. It feels so important at the time but two weeks later, no body cares." And that's so true. Last week everyone was talking about Susan Boyle or Diversity or Stavros and Flatlpack Furniture. But now, about 10% of those people are going on that tour they do and the rest couldn't give two shits if I'm honest.

The worst thing about the show is that it has it's 'obvious winners' who - completely out of nowhere - suddenly become unpopular. Why does this happen? Probably becuase it means that the smarmy Simon Cowell can buy another house in the peak district that's built inside a mountain.

Then the winners. Oh christ. I feel so sorry for our Queen. Having to sit and watch to the drooling cretin that win that show. Last year she got some 12 year old who just got wet and threw himself around the stage. No flippin' wonder he has back problems! And Diversity. Why the hell would the Queen want to watch some teenagers doing the robot? I would really like to see the camera pan up to the Queen to see her drooling on Prince Charles' shoulder.

Then Susan Boyle. AHHH. Another person Max Clifford can grab onto until they die .

I just wish that all these shows would disappear and they show decent television instead. Then they could show quality TV like Scrubs, Everybody Loves Raymond and Two and a Half Men.

Also, new album out soon by me. Not for free, might try to set up some downloading thing. I'll have a chat with people.

Much love, Steve.

E3

I normally blog about the in depth details of what happened at E3 this year (well I did on my old one). But I think I can sum it up in one paragraph:

The wii is now obsolete. The computer is now obsolete. The PS3 is (and always was) obsolete. The xbox is now ruler of the free world, allowing people to wave their arms around as if holding a wii remote but not actually holding anything. Also, Twitter and Facebook on the xbox. Praying that Bill Gates puts 4chan on there too. Perhaps an instant application that takes you straight to the site.

And that's as far as E3 went this year. Nothing spectacular. Just that.

-Steve

Iceland

I wrote a list of things I want to write about in the next 20 posts. I thought I'd start with Iceland seeing as it's the easiest. It's also a very interesting and quite quiet little country that sits just north of Scotland and is part of Scandinavia. It's very mountainous and also very cold. There is quite a bit of snow and some parts look very very desolate. And this is why I want to live there.

If you've followed my blog then you'll probably realise by now that I'm a fairly 'different' chap. I want to go to war with Finland and I am scared of Russia. This is different though, becuase it makes perfect sense! Most people want to live in France or Spain. This is all good, but think about how bad the economy is and how bored you'll get of the heat. It's nice in a short spell but shouldn't be lived in I am to believe.

Iceland has two very nice things about it:
1) Everything is cheap as dirt.
2) They have Bjork and Sigur Ros.
Furthermore, they have a very low unemployment rate and they are some of the happiest people in the world. They're quite good at Eurovision and they have beautiful cities. Houses are big and cheap. See, why move to Spain if you have Iceland. So what if it's a bit cold, it can be very warm. It is also sunny more often than it is in Scotland. The people are supposedly lovely as well.

The main reason I would move to Iceland would be becuase of my favourite 'acoustic' band in the world. Sigur Ros are my pet sound. They would take up all 5 of my desert island discs as well. Not many people like/have heard of Sigur Ros unfortunately. But that's unfortunate because they are very talented.

I'm watching their live DVD (Heima) right now. It's really fantastic and cheap as chips, so buy or download it. I've alos just downloaded their whole back catalogue. And let's be honest. You can't hate a band that has the sound of hammers hitting ice as the backing to one of their songs.

So yeah, in short. Move to Iceland and listen to Sigur Ros. You don't have to listen to Bjork though. She's not very good.

-Steve

Twilight and High Fidelity

In the last week I have watched about 6 films. Three I have enjoyed and three I haven't. Two are English, one is Italian, one is French, one is polish and one is Japanese. You might have heard of five of them and you won't have heard of one of them. Only two contain a mainstream cast and the other four are independant films. In this post, I will talk about two.

The first is a stunner of a film. The music is great, the acting is great, the cast is great, the writing is great and the story is fantastic. No, it's not Twilight. It's High Fidelity. A typically 'British-but-set-in-America' film containing notable names like Jack Black and John Cusak. This film had everything I loved about it, and apparently I am a bit like the character portrayed (excellently) by John Cusak. A fairly quiet chap who loves music and owns a record store. Well I fit one out of those three then.

The story goes that the loveless protagonist owns a record store and is in search of finding the perfect woman. He is dumped by is then girlfriend who then goes to start a relationship with Tim Robbins. Then a load of stuff happens that I don't want to reveal and then it all turns out OK. This is good. This is the sort of film I like. This is why I liked The Boat that Rocked. It had a great soundtrack and I saw myself in some of the characters. Also, the Bruce Springsteen cameo is priceless.

Unfortunately though, this is classed as a rom-com. Which will mean that men who like to lift weights and have sex with twenty-seven women at a time will not watch it. But behind that awful facade of rom-comism lies a warming British comedy. And this is the exact polar opposite to the winner of the academy award for worst novel, film, film adaptation, characters, acting, writing, screenplay and every other 'worst' award in the world.

Twilight, new moon, every other piece of sh*t that comes from the hand of Stephenie Meyer. Utter drivel I tell ya! I'm normally open to all sorts of reading and film but I was unable to read this or watch this. Everything about it is wrong.

I'm sure you've got a good image of the vampire. Teeth, comb-over and cape. Well Stephenie Meyer seems to believe the vampire sparkles. And if that idea isn't bad enough then she also believes that he is pubescent teenager who attends a school in the middle of f*cking nowhere. Then out of nowhere; a load of warewolf rapists come and try to kill the sparkley campire. Then Bella looks desperate (for c*ck) and runs into a forest which suddenly appears by their school.

And since when could vampires stop cars with their hands? And why did Paramore ruin their awesomeness by putting the awesome song (Decode) on the soundtrack. And anyway, what is this film even classed as? Is it romantic-drama? Is it action-romantic-drama? Well I've got the answer. It's in a category saved for films like Terminator: Salvation and Mamma Mia. It's called "straight-to-dvd". This category is for films so awful and painful to watch that they should follow the path of Disney and just send them straight to DVD so that I don't have to stand behind mobs of 10 year old girls screaming "I LUV U ROBBURT PATYSUN" so that I can buy a ticket to see an arty film in some sort of inbred Russian language about a child who was brought up by snowmen and eventually took over Nicaragua through the power of telekenesis.

I think the worst thing though, is that people who I actually have a reasonable amount of respect for say that the books are good and the films can really "relate to real life."

...

SINCE WHEN DID YOU SEE GLOWING F*CKING VAMPIRES AT YOUR F*CKING SCHOOL?? And then how can you turn around and tell me that Stephenie Meyer is a linguistic genius?! The woman wrote a book for 2 year olds then decided to buy a thesaurus and use it on that book then sell it at loud and easily pleased teenagers. That's a point too. Did Stephanie Meyer actually write the book? I read on Digg she stole it from her room-mate in college.

My solution? Go to war with Finland.

It seems to be my solution to everything so why not this?

-Steve

(Hopefully I'll think of something better for next week)

Customer Service

At Christmas I recieved an iPod Touch. Up until that point I had been using an iPod mini. The iPod mini has always been my favourite iPod, mainly becuase it is so retro it's cool. But I felt it was time for an upgrade so I asked for the 32gb touch. I got the touch and thought it was awesome. It still is awesome and always will be awesome.

However, it has recently decided that it doesn't want to turn on and would rather sulk away in some sort of coma-esque sleep mode. As I hammer away at the buttons I dread the thought of

calling some sort of call centre in some middle-eastern country to talk to a chap that can only help me by telling me he can't help. Well I've just got off the phone to Apple customer services and I must say; I am shocked.

I just had a normal conversation with a nice chap from a call centre based in Britain, who gave me the perfect amount of information and even said I sounded very mature. My touch will be sent back to Apple Headquarters and a new one will be sent back. How fantastic is that? Gone are the days of awful, incomprehensible call centres. Well no, not exactly.

Unfortunately, I have just recieved an email from a website called Tagged (see an older post) who insisted that I have breached their terms of service. Now I'm a fairly nice bloke who strives to abide by the 'rules' on a website. So I find it grossly unfair to be contacted by a site I never use, telling me that (and I quote): "You have breached the original contract to which you signed by way of electronic signature. The reasons for your ban include; persistent 'spamming' of profiles and grief causing."

I've been arguing with a chap called Pavel from the Tagged system team for weeks now, asking him to provide me with evidence that I have done these alleged things. But apparently I will not be able to access such files becuase I could (apparently) recover my profile. What kind of sh*t is he pulling on me?

I won't fight for the ban to be lifted. I couldn't give two sh*ts about Tagged. The only people who use it are either desperate or hideous. It's good to know that Facebook and MySpace don't treat people like the team at Tagged.

Oh, a new email from the Tagged systems team...

...now its on.

I declare war, right here right now!!

-Steve

I'm no bitch to advertising

Well I am...

http://blog.strangemedia.co.uk/ - The blog of a good friend of mines. He did the artwork for the album and is an all round legend. Read please.

http://www.strangemedia.co.uk/ - This too. This is his website, the gallery holds stuff like the album art and some skins.

http://www.myspace.com/charlieholemusic - Friend of mine from school. Very very talented acoustic/surf/whatever artist with bucketloads of talent.

http://www.myspace.com/steveturnermix - Self endorsement. My music is here. People like it so please click on it and listen. Also, new album out soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 - Youtube link to my first music video. It's pretty crap but oh well, it's a starter.

Well there we go. There are 500+ of you looking at this each week so click on those please. They all deserve equal amounts of love.

Much love, Steve,
x

A brief history of iPods.

If you've been outside in the last 30 years then you may have noticed a company called Apple. If you haven't been outside in the last 30 years then go and see a psychiatrist or stop being odd. Apple is headed by our supreme overlord Steve Jobs who I - for one - welcome as our new swine-flu defeating god. He had an idea about 15 years ago, while he was listening to his walkman, that he should make a USB device that plays music. 5 years later the first ever iPod came out. People gazed at the sheen on the back of this wonderous device. It came in 5/6 colours and had a little half-eaten apple on the back. We all see what you did there Steve...we all see!

Soon problems arrived. Everyone laughed at the awfulness of the first iTunes and no-one wanted to shell out £200+ for something which held as many songs as a cheap Argos CD rack. There was nothing on iTunes store and the colours lost their sheen after you left the shop. Lots of people got angry and Steve Jobs went all 'Pinky and the Brain' and made the proper iPod. Ahh, the iPod classic. So simple and so perfect.

A few months later something called the iPod mini came out and suddenly men saw how cheap it was and bought one instantly not realising that it was the Mazda MX-5 of MP3 players. They're small and cute, much unlike its big older brother who guarded his little mini-sister from the brothels of Microsoftland.

At this point Bill Gates gets pissed off and starts working on his own MP3 player (cue evil and over-dramatic music). Back in Steve Jobs' space-station, he tells his slaves to make an even bigger classic...and things called podcasts. Everyone loves the new classic, everyone loves the idea of podcasting. Everything works out for Stevie and Bill decides that his MP3 sucks so hard that he'll sell the design to Sharp.

Next comes the nano and the shuffle. The nano was basically the new mini and the shuffle was basically an iPod for people who don't 'do' screens. Both were cheap and fantastic in their own ways. But people got bored of bigger and smoother versions of old iPods. So just before AppleGlobalWeaponSystems LTD make the completely spherical iPod with attached mind-control system...

...he makes the touch. And just before you say I skipped the video iPods: I am skipping the video ones because no one wants to watch Fight Club on a 3 nanometer by 2 nanometer screen. Anyway, the Touch!! What a miraculous device, you can touch the screen to make it move. If you shake the screen then things happen. Applications. Music. HD films. Video Podcasts. Games. This baby has everything you could ever want in an iPod! Well no it doesn't.

Sir Steve Jobs PHD OBH QWE RTY PSC of GlobAppleCorp (leading manafacturers of everything [including oxygen and Pot Noodle]) put a phone in the Touch. This meant you couldn't get the 32gb but who cares? You can listen to your music and talk on the phone at the same time while you play Tap Tap Revenge and order a chinese from your local.

Moral of the story? Apple is awesome in every way. The iPod is the perfect device, the MacBook is fantastic and sleek, the other thing they make that looks like an alien ship is immense. You really can't fault Apple in any way.

Just my thoughts for the day. Good luck people doing GCSE's. Have a good half term other school-going folk and have a good weekend to everyone else.

-Ste...

WAIT! I've forgotten. Sh*t headphones. What the hell is that all about? I can buy a pair of epic Sennheiser HD 205's for a quarter of the price of your shite default headphones. They break after a few weeks and can't handle any bass.

Stupid Steve Jobs.

-Steve

20th Century Boy's 21st Century Breakdown

A few weeks back I wrote about some Norweigan band called Royksopp and their elctrechno album. To quote my review of it; "Best album of the year, no doubt" Or something along those lines. Well I apologise, for I may have fibbed to you, my readers. It would seem that something has cropped up and overshadowed the little Norweigan teenagers with their floppy hair and synth decks. The big boys are back, and they're back with hell of an album.

American Idiot when platinum so many times that they had to make a new number; "Greendayllion". To write it in standard form you need to write some standard form within the standard form. It was a beauty of an album; bouncing melodies and heavy guitars with some anthemic lyrics to boot. The music videos went well with the song and they brought forward the whole Anti-bush crap that rose up.

So this can't be anywhere near as good can it? No it isn't. Sorry, it just isn't. I've listened through it six times and nothing compares to the songs on American Idiot. This by no means suggests its a bad album, its a flippin' fantastic album! Green Day keep with the anthemic vocals and heavy guitars, but they also introduced slower and more meaningful songs, and they're great.

But unfortunately there is something about this album that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. You know the story of the Hare and the Tortoise? Of course you do. Well imagine a race where both of the animals are hares and can run the exact same speed and will both win. What a dull race that would be. You know its going to be a draw, so why are you watching it?

This is the issue with this album. Green Day have caused themselves a problem. They made their best album then they released one that is just a very teensy-tiny bit 'not-as-good' as their best. I listen to Horseshoes and Handgrenades and it all seems a bit samey, a bit 'whatsthepointy' if you know what I mean.

This is the best album of the year so far. Buy it and love it. Cheer when they win awards. But as you take that film off your album or you click "Buy" on iTunes, just spare a thought for American Idiot.


Though don't spare a thought for Working Class Hero or that one they did with Bono...lets be honest, they were both pure sh*te.

-Steve

(Ps: Happy Birthday to me)
(PPs: Thanks to Tom Jarvis for help with the album)
(PPPs: Thanks to Rob Amey for telling me to make an album)

Tagged

It must be said that social networking has boomed in the past few years. We have changed from being a society based around the telegram and morse code into a society based around books made of faces. Also, if you are at school or work right now, then I would guess you are using a proxy server of some sort. Now, you probably use your proxy to go on Facebook or Twitter, but there's some good news. You can now go on the slummiest social networking site without a proxy.

A year and a half ago, a bloke from America called...Buddy...yes, Buddy and a young man from China called...I dunno, Thich Quan Duc decided that Facebook was a bit too mature. I mean that in both senses by the way, they thought that it was obsene and for old people. The story goes that they bought the lisence to a site called Tagged which was based around getting people to make friends and find a relationship without seeing each other.

So I made an account to see what the malarkey was about. I signed up and I was flooded with crap telling me I couldn't go live until I'd put some photos up. I did this and then I was told to write a small novel about my life...which I copy and pasted from an old Bebo account. After about twenty-six million more steps I could finally see the homepage, and this pleased me.

Then I got confused...very cnosufed. I had been watching people doing this at school and realised that I had to add people, and never has there been such a monumentously difficult task. I had to go into browse, then find people in my area that were my age. Then I chose what hair colour I liked, and what type of tea I like, and if I was a dictator what country would I destroy first. Seriously, I had to answer that. (I chose to destroy Nicaragua by the way).

As the time came where I could finally tell people that they were pitiful and lonely people, my laptop got filtered. I was using a proxy as well. This would have been a nuisance anyway, seeing as I could normally just press back and then use a method that has been coined around school to stop filters. But that isn't what happened. It was much worse.

Tagged uses a 'one-page' function which means that if you press backspace, you go back to google or whatever you were last on. So guess how unhappy I was when I found that at the point where I was one step from finishing my signing up process, I had to go back to google.

"AAAAAAARRRGGGHH" was my first thought, a whole food tech lesson wasted! Then all of a sudden, it worked. This pleased me. So yes, Tagged. I got 3 messages within two seconds telling me that three people wanted to 'meet up with me'. I was about to delete when I looked at the ages. 10, 12, 11. What sort of ten year old would click 'yes' to someone six years older. Then I realised that I hadn't even said I was sixteen. To get past parental crap, I put myself as 22. So these three girls were saying yes to someone (supposedly) double their age.

How thick could you be to just look at a picture and say yes without considering the age of the person. And then it hit me. The sort of person who signs up to a site that was made to be 'less mature' than Facebook. Nonetheless, I deleted my account and had a conversation with someone who has the power to spam websites with DDoS.

In short, sorry for breaking Tagged.

-Steve

Illegal Downloads

A patch for Google Earth was released this week, allowing you to fly on Mars. As I read this news, I jumped in glee at the thought of spending useless Technology lessons flying around the Olympus Mons. I clicked on the link to download and had my dreams shattered (my god this sounds geeky). £280. Little did google tell me that you had to buy the complete business package to do this. So I thought on my heels and headed on over to The Pirate Bay.

"Oh my" I hear you all say. Well don't be shocked. Downloading illegaly is a little bit like cannabis in my eyes. Everyone from all walks of life does it. David Cameron - supposedly - downloaded Windows Vista Ultimate for his old laptop and a friend of mine who basically lives out of a rucksack recently downloaded Windows Vista Business on his desktop. I'll admit it, I do (on rare occasions) download the odd film or song. But like I say, everyone does it!

So what's the disadvantages of illegal downloads? The folks at EMI don't get any money when you download it...but who cares! EMI earnt a gross profit of $26.9billion last year, so they hardly need any more money. The small time bands and soloists aren't gaining any money though, but you can't find any of their stuff anyway so that doesn't really matter. And that's it. I can't think of many more disadvantages that really make much difference to the argument.

The advantages are plentiful though. People can listen to all sorts of music, allowing people to broaden their tastes. People can watch independant films and find new directors and actors. People can update the applications on their computers without having to spend vast amounts of money. Old games that have been taken from the shelves can grace your screens once again (Unreal Tournament 1999 for example).

I don't condone illegal downloading...but I just find it difficult to understand why it is illegal. Have a good week, I have revision to do.

-Steve

Thank You

Crikey.

Didn't really expect you to flood my inbox like that. A total of 71 people e-mailed me asking for music. Then I got another 70 e-mails saying how good my Prodigy remix was. The other person suggested I move on to making more stuff and try to get my name heard (cheers Rob). So yeah, big thanks to everyone out there who has been following my rants. Hopefully I'll return to the normal blogging next week in between my exams.

Hope you all have a great week and keep sending me stuff to write about.

-Steve

My Music

Haha, no image this time!

Well, after getting all of 40 e-mails telling me to "GET A MAC FOR GOD SAKES!!!1", I have found that there are a lot of people reading this, which is quite nice. So hello and thanks for reading. And as a thank you, I thought I'd do something for you.

You know I love music, but you may not know that I like mixing music (digitally), I don't do all that spinning and crap. But if you're interested in some of my older stuff (my first, second, third and fourth mixes) then I'd be more than happy to send you them. You may not like them, but NME magazine did, although only one was published...and only twelve people downloaded it. Anywho, if you'd like 4 free mixes straight from me, e-mail me at steveturner93@hotmail.com or tell me any other way you can think of; twitter, facebook, smoke signals.

Steve

Dammit I'm Mad, by Dimitri Martin

Dammit I’m mad.

Evil is a deed as I live.

God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.

To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.

Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?

Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.

I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.

Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,In my halo of a mired rum tin.

I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.

Is evil in a clam? In a trap?

No. It is open. On it I was stuck.

Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.

Be still if I fill its ebb.

Ew, a spider… eh?We sleep. Oh no!

Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.

Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.

Both, one… my names are in it.

Murder? I’m a fool.

A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,

A Goddam level I lived at.

On mail let it in. I’m it.

Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!

A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.

Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”

Evil is a deed as I live.

Dammit I’m mad.

---------------------------

Now read it backwards!!

The Economic Crisis

Britain is plagued by the class system. It doesn't make sense and it's open to abuse. I think that me and most of the people who I'm friends with are middle class, but that's possibly because I live in the south (see, common stereotype). The class system is flawed as well. Wayne Rooney is a very rich chap, but does that make him upper class? Just because someone has a lot of money does not mean they are upper class, but that's the thing, it will most of the time.

But what effect does this have on the "economic crisis"? I think it just brings back the class systems, a think that has slowly disappeared over the past 10 years. New Labour pushed back the classes and now that Cameron is looking most likely to lead this country out of the "credit crunch", I think it's back. And while the working classes are struggling, and the upper classes are sitting back on their fixed rate ISA's.

But that's not my point, my point is a bit bigger. My point will blow the minds of the politicians. This resolution to the "credit crunch" is no dead cat bounce. This will solve it all. So hold on, here it is...




We need a war! Not a big war, but a war in which we can make some monies! We need to get the hell out of Iraq, leave it on the heads of the Americans and Obama. So then comes the next problem. Who the hell do we have a war against that could bring in some money? Well look no further readers, I've sorted that too!

Finland! They have oil and trees and are on the border with Russia. Imagine it as a republic of Britain - the new Scotland, but with less battered confectionary. Even better, the bloated politicians can celebrate over winning their war and eat their celebratory pie. I reckon that if this does well and we win, we could take Sweden, Denmark and even Norway! Soon, Britain could regain an empire, completely based in the arctic circle. The classes will fall and we will have no more money worries. Everyone will be like those Russian people who smoke massive Cuban cigars and drink their Russian Standard Vodka on ice.

NOW, SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE!

-Steve

To Mac or not to Mac...

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? You get the Mac v Microsoft argument. And it seems that the time has come to start looking at a new laptop. This is just the start though, I'll probably get the thing this time next year...but it doesn't hurt looking does it? Well it bloody does!

10 minutes and I don't know whether Mac's are better than PC's. I know the main differences; Mac's are more for media while PC's are more for word documenting and Gaming. I know that (depending on how much you pay) they both look very nice. To scale, the Alienware Area 52 is just as attractive as the Macbook Air.

Also, because I (will hopefully) have near £1000, I feel as though I can afford either the Alienware or the Macbook. So you can see the conundrum. The fast, sleek and beautiful Alienware...or the fast, sleek and beautiful Macbook.

So this is what I ask, if you have any info that could sway me to one over another; tweet me at Steveturner93 or comment on my blog. Alternatively, e-mail at steveturner93@hotmail.com.

-Steve

Faith

Right, well I thought I'd open up a post about faith with a picture of Tom Cruise talking about $ientology, that sets the tone well I suppose...

So what is your faith? And don't be all in 'ma' face with "I r Agnostic I dun't have no fathe". Becuase you do have faith, you have the belief that there is no God, which is a little bit like an inverse faith...so you do have faith. You don't have the same sort of faith as a Christian or a Muslim, but you have faith. Everyone has faith in something. Tom Cruise has faith in whatever the hell $ientology believe, Christians believe that a saviour came to save us from our sins and Muslims believe in the prophet Muhammed (pbuh).

So I ask again you dogs...show me your faith (ha ha to the movie reference amiright?). I feel like I'm trailing away from the point here so let's get back on track. I'm writing this to ask, do you think you understand other people's faiths? There is someone I know in school who is Muslim and I don't understand their beliefs. There are quite a few Christians in school and I don't completely understand their beliefs and I definetly don't understand Jews, Sikhs, Buddhists and Catholics.

I doubt many of you white anglo-saxon protestants (History reference there) can look me in the eyes and say that they completely understand the Muslim faith. Does this worry you that in a country with an increasing Muslim population, that we don't know much about what they believe in? It worries me. It saddens me to some extent. (I can almost hear the guffaws from my history teacher, as he reminices the 'tagging' lesson. But that was taken out of context so I think that's unfair!)

It saddens me because we give Muslims a lot of grief as a country. After 9/11, I think a religion which had sat back very quietly and had gone un-noticed suddenly became the spotlight of prejudice, with people not going on undergrounds because of the constant worry of a bomb going off. I even saw someone cross the road after they saw a group of Sikhs (ok, not Muslim, but it suggests the ignorance that some people have, not being able to differentiate between the two) walking towards them.

Is this what the country is coming to? Are we turning into a country where we are scared of those who are different to us? Are we turning into a country where the 'N' word becomes a common phrase? Will that creepy northener win the apprentice? I think this country needs to change quickly, before this feeble Gulf War II becomes something a lot worse.

This turned from a talk about faith to a rant about racism fairly quickly didn't it...ah well. Let me talk about $cientology for a second...









LIES AND DECEIT!

-Steve